Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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