I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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