just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize