We won't sleep together?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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