we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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