if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
last night I used snow as a chaser
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
