it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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