Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize