Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
