Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
