If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
