Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
