I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
