You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
