Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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