What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
