I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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