So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
