He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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