so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
