I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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