If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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