good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
