You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
