What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
