Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize