she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
