i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
