Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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