hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
