So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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