so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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