Dual....:-)
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
