He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My pussy is not your playground.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
