Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
