you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
