the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
