Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
