He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
