I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
