i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
