Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize