i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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