I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
