He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
