just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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