We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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