please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
