I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
