I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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