party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
