your thong is hanging out like whoa
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize