Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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