idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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