I'm so fucking centered right now
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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