and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
