It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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